This week I’m continuing with Jennifer M Eaton’s Sunday Snippets Critique Blog Hop in which writers post 250 words of their current Work in Progress and then hop around and critique everyone else’s snippets. To join, click here to sign up and add your name and web site address to the list.
Thanks again to everyone who took the time last week to offer a critique of my work.
This week’s snippet follows a little way after the 250 words featured last week from my novel Rani’s Right. I’ve skipped over a paragraph that will likely be cut. Again, in keeping with my laziness, I haven’t rewritten anything since last week so it’s still the same old draft. Our narrator is still trying to sort out what she actually wants to write but is starting to get her act together.
I should explain where we are rather than ramble all about the place. I’m writing this on August 21st 2004. Two months to the day. I’m back in Melbourne, Alfred Hospital burns unit. I was sent back not long after Rani’s death. I didn’t even get to say goodbye properly. Attend her funeral, I mean. Her body was shipped back to Singapore with all the other cargo. How degrading. I don’t even know if she had a funeral. I haven’t heard a thing from her family. Actually, Rani said on the plane during our brief conversation that her brother went away somewhere about four years ago and she hasn’t heard from him since. Her father was killed about six months before that in a work accident or something. Her mother is now widowed and without either of her children, poor woman. I’d never met her but felt that I knew her like my own mother from everything Rani told me during that year she was staying in Omeo. I desperately wanted to give her a hug and tell her that her daughter is a hero and that she didn’t die in vain. One day, I might see my wish granted. Maybe.
It’s a tad shorter than 250 but it ends at a natural break so I didn’t try to pad it out.
Please have a look at and, if possible, critique the work of these authors, while you’re here. look for this logo. It will take you to their latest critique post: