Six Sentence Sunday #28

6 Sentence Sunday LogoGood morning, good reader, on this last official Six Sentence Sunday!

Because this is the final official Six Sunday I thought it fitting that I close with a close. Here are the last six sentences of the current chapter in my online serial novel Rochelle’s Briefcase, a modern day mystery/thriller/young adult/whatever-it-turns-out-to-be story.

This is the same scene as last week where Rochelle is in the police station being questioned about the report of her missing neighbour the previous day. As Rochelle feared during the entire interview, the police officer finally asks the dreaded question.

He paused to look down at the briefcase Rochelle had with her. “Activities that make this person very uncomfortable.” His eyes locked on hers. Rochelle was wide-eyed and frozen.
Tell me, Ms. Summers. What is in that briefcase?”

You can read the lead-up to these closing lines, by clicking here. Don’t forget to vote! You can also try this link to read the previous chapters.

To catch up on my previous Six Sunday posts, Click Here.

Check out more great Six Sentence Sunday authors and their amazing contributions at http://www.sixsunday.com/ before the site closes. I’m not sure about plans for the website itself.

I’d like to thank Sara Brookes and the team at Six Sentence Sunday for their tireless dedication to this fantastic site. I’ve met some great people on here and it will be sad to see this end. But I will continue to follow and read and learn. Until next Sunday…

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10 thoughts on “Six Sentence Sunday #28

  1. kimberlykcomeau

    My editor has ruined me. All I can hear is: “had with her” = “carried.” And yes, what indeed is in that briefcase? Good cliffhanger.

    Reply
    1. Richard Leonard Post author

      Hi Kimberly,

      Thanks for the feedback. I totally agree. “Had with her” is not pretty. But technically, at this point she isn’t carrying it. 😉 Being a standalone 6 makes that flaw stand out more. Maybe “He glanced toward the briefcase on the floor beside her” or something would be an improvement?
      Cheers! 🙂

      Reply
  2. Kate Warren

    What IS in that briefcase that’s got her so worried? If it was something potentially incriminating or embarrassing, why did she bring it along? Interesting. An excellent blend of her fear and the police officer’s ability to make people nervous.

    Reply
    1. Richard Leonard Post author

      Ah! You have to read chapters 1 to 8! They don’t tell you what’s in it but it partly explains why she’s got it with her all the time. Sort of. I intend to rewrite this whole thing when the online serial is finished so hopefully it will improve. Thanks for the comment, Kate! 🙂

      Reply
    1. Richard Leonard Post author

      Thanks. It’s an on-going thing at the moment. See the links above. As I said to Kate, I intend to rewrite it all, (and what I didn’t say to Kate) have it published in 27 languages all over the world in hardback and make millions of dollars. In the real world it will probably be a practice run for doing a self-pub to Kindle and just waste some of Amazon’s server space.

      Reply
        1. Richard Leonard Post author

          If you don’t mind the coat being hired, then not returned, neglected, slept in outdoors during rainstorms, under bridges and in alley ways, vomited on, soaked in alcohol, kicked, beaten and accumulating all sort of stink then yeah, help yourself! 😉

          Reply
  3. Maddie Cochere

    I like the six. Of course the detective wants to know what’s in the briefcase. 😉 I honestly don’t know when I’ll be able to go back and read all of the chapters, but I am definitely buying when it’s available for the Kindle. I have a new Kindle! Yay!

    Reply

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